Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Lessons from Living Alone

Lesson 1: Stress cleaning is an excellent and cheap source of therapy and an add fat-burning bonus workout!

I'd like some thoughts on this, if you have any to spare dear readers. For those of you living in apartments or rented homes, do you expect just a smidge of notice before the landlord comes bursting through your/their place that may or may not be a total disaster zone because cleaning is just so far down on your "things-you-really-should-get-around-to" list? Like...more than two hours notice in the form of a text that you don't see until 8 hours later anyway?

Yeah...I'd like that too. Even if it's midnight the night before. Then I can at least scramble to tidy up on my rushed way out the door in the morning. Is that too much to ask?

Lesson 2: Clean the kitchen everyday. Really, you never know who's going to stop by unexpectedly or when the Landlord will send his cabinet guy in at 10am on a Tuesday. You just never know. I'm trying to follow the "one soapy sponge" rule while jamming out to anything energetic on Pandora or 8tracks.

Lesson 3: If you're anything like me, make a dedicated day about once a month to really and truly and deeply organize your closet/office area. Though if you ARE anything like me, you won't ever follow through on this and you'll end up sifting through a mountain of clothes screaming "Why? Why are there so many pants?! Who needs this many pairs of pants? Dear god is that the garbage snake from Star Wars?" And then you'll eventually just say "F*ck it." throw on a pair of sweats and type out all of your blog posts at the kitchen table while Fur-beast sleeps on unaffected. (And really who needs pants anyway? oh wait...)

Lesson 4: Don't wait until the very end of your lease to bring up problems in the apartment. Seriously, if you're missing sections of ceiling due to a hurricane OVER A YEAR AGO...say something. Because when the Polar Vortex hits, you don't want your loved ones to find your frozen corpse wrapped up nicely in your own bed.

Lesson 5: The best part about living alone is that there's no one around to judge your t-shirt wearing, pants-mountain climbing, bad-ass self when you're drinking a honey whiskey and hot chocolate straight out of the pot...because you forgot to clean the kitchen.


  1. I love living alone. I always have. Never even lived in a dorm. It's just not me. I love cleaning my house and feel sick sometimes if it is not clean. The only room in my place that stays messy is my bathroom because I have a dog. Its like her little room. Its not messy messy but not neat either. I hate when the apartment people come into fix things or have to change the vents. They normally give lots of notice. Like a few days and I make sure it is spotless and spells good. People always think I'm weird for that.

  2. 'maintaining' is way easier/better than just leaving everything to last minute and then going bananas because it's so overwhelming. that's what i used to do and it was way too much!! now i split things up and clean a little bit every day so that on the weekend, the 'big jobs' are just the kitchen floors and the bathtubs and toilets. everything else has been maintained during the week and just needs a wipe down.

    Vodka and Soda