Yesterday was definitely an exercise of wills and patience and of allowing myself to just relax. This was actually a bit more challenging than I expected it to be.
I knew and continuously reminded myself that even if I did accomplish some things yesterday, it was just a bonus, and if I didn't get anything done? That's okay too because I had intentionally set aside this day to be lazy. Yesterday wasn't about getting things done, it was mindful laziness, being attentive to the moment and to myself. I think even my creativity needed a break. I wrote a little, mostly journaling, and I thought up a few new story ideas though I didn't try to force anything beyond making note of the plots and character names and vague story paths that came my way.
Though, I think the only time I truly felt the complete calm and stillness I was hoping for yesterday was while building up a fire in the afternoon. There was a moment of just getting lost in the crackling, popping warmth and light of the fire and watching as the flames danced and licked and ate away at the logs. That moment made me think of the character Calcifer from Hayao Miyazaki's Howl's Moving Castle (If you haven't seen it, go forth and watch it, it's beautiful)
The fire really did look like the flames were wrapped around the log as it chewed its way through the wood. This also got me thinking about how fires need to be "fed" to keep them going. Which then got me thinking about how our creative fires also need to be fed. I had been burning through my creativity, all of my ideas, without taking the time to build back up my fire with inspiration. And then I was berating myself for not being as creative as the next person. For not having nor achieving the same goals.
Yet not taking the time to feed that creative fire was causing it to die down and leave me with a feeling of...lost. No spark, no idea.
Recently I noticed I wasn't reading or taking in other forms of art as much as when I was younger, there was no more looking outward, I was expecting everything to come from within.
Maybe that's how artists go mad, what leads them to burnout? They stopped feeding their creative fires, thinking the fires will burn on, never ceasing.
So yesterday's "laziness" was another way to build my fire back up. There is so much talent and beauty in the world and so many of us are fortunate to live in a time when that talent is so easily shared with everyone and anyone, anywhere.
Remember beautiful readers, whoever you may be. Remember to feed and fuel your creative fires once in awhile, they need tending too.