Saturday, February 1, 2014

February: A time for love and a new soundtrack

Happy First day of February!

Okay, So originally I had a plan all lined up about how I would review the month of January and go over how I achieved goals X, Y, and Z and then I would launch into the way that made me feel and how I really like this new plan of mine for mini monthly goals and turning some things into habits while accomplishing certain projects throughout the month.

Then I was going to tell you all about my plans for February. And let me just say, I have SOOOOOOO many goals for the shortest month of the year. Seriously, I don't know how I expect to accomplish it all in just 28 days. Granted, some of it could be lumped together like writing everyday along with creating an editorial calendar (which I actually already did so wooh!) and maybe cranking out a couple of short stories. Then there others that are just good habits I'd like to adopt forever not just for 28 days (I'm looking at you "wake up at 5am every morning, yes even on weekends, in order to get more out of the day" goal).

However after a number of things that happened over the last couple of months, conversations and epiphanies had and pondered over. I realized that I really only have one goal for this month.
It's kind of appropriate actually, given that this is the month of "love" and all that.

My Mini Monthly Milestone for February:
Change that track of negative self-talk in my head and love myself more.

You see, I'm pretty hard on myself. As I'm sure most everyone is at some point or another. In fact that seems to be a running theme around the internet these days, "don't be so hard on yourself" and "learn to love yourself." There was an article I was reading awhile back, which I unfortunately can't find to link for you now. (But I'll link it later if I do find it.) And it talked about how you should talk to yourself the same way you would to a friend or a sister, that a lot of women say things to themselves in the privacy of their own minds that they would NEVER say out loud to others, and that this is so damaging for living a healthy and fulfilled life.

I am a pretty terrible offender in this regard. In fact, I think there should be a hotline we can call to help with the emotional abuse we heap on ourselves sometimes.

So today I'm making a stand. I'm going to change that negative loop. I know it will be difficult, so ingrained in my mind is that track that it's almost a force of nature. Like screaming into the wind or trying to turn back the tide. I've had myself so convinced that I'm not even worthy of trying to build up better self esteem. That I deserve to feel this way all the time due to past mistakes and that if I try to start getting better, everyone else will see it for the farce that it truly is.

But that's a lie. I DO deserve to feel happy and complete. I DO have a pretty great life. Sure there are sucky parts, but isn't that true for everyone? It's all a matter of perspective and looking for those pockets of happiness, those spots of sunshine to brighten your day and get you through the rough patches.

I will no longer be ruled by negativity. Who's with me?

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